Inside Voices

What's the Point?
Yesterday I told several of my friends my intention to start a blog.  I even sent them my first post.  One of my friends (the witty and helpful Matt Foss) commented back to me two simple, but thought provoking words: "stupid customers".  That concise statement brought to my attention that if I'm going to continue with this blog that I must be certain of what I am doing.  And why.  The purpose of this blog is not to condemn customers nor is it to defend PBC's.  This is about reactions.  Positive reactions, negative reactions and all that comes in between.  Both PBC's and customers are human, and thus prone to making mistakes.  By sharing examples of the best and worst customer/PBC interactions I want to discuss how we can all function in the real world and not be a horrible person at the same time.

INSIDE VOICES
When I see a PBC make a mistake, perhaps mistyping a digit when entering an order number, or dropping a product on the floor I could easily understand how the consumer would be unhappy.  Such displeasure is easy to express.  For example: "Would you mind grabbing me a new *dropped product*?" or "Could you please enter the number one more time?".  By using an Inside Voice, these requests are considered reasonable and it is more than likely the PBC will comply.  Even if the product that was dropped was the only one in the store, or while entering the order number the computer freezes up, the continued use of an Inside Voice combined with normal breathing patterns can bring about a resolution to the situation without raising your blood pressure or the eyebrows of passers-by.

As the problem continues (the dropped item has been discontinued, there is one of the item in stock at a store 20 miles away and they can't transfer it to the store closer to you nor can they hold it, the order number entered was not the correct one etc.), it can be difficult to maintain our patience, not to mention our steady use of the Inside Voice. We are all busy people. We have things to do, kids to pick up, papers to write, appointments to keep, rush hour traffic, dinner and we didn't plan for this.  We can't sit around waiting for this idiot to do their job, we don't have time.  What the hell is taking so long? I demand satisfaction sir!
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And ... scene.

That little train of thought seemed fairly reasonable at the start, didn't it?  In fact, up until the last sentence you probably found yourself agreeing with most if not all of the sentiments.  Which is the point.  The appropriateness of the reaction and response to a PBC's error.  Frustration, irritability, and exasperation are all to be expected when a visit to the store doesn't go as smoothly as we would hope.  Humans, by nature have emotions.  But notice how quickly that hypothetical train of thought escalated to anger?  How long would you have before you would reach that point?  One minute?  Five minutes?  How about twenty minutes?  Would the fact that the PBC is trying to help remind you to keep the conversation between the two of you versus the entire store?  What about the incentive of cash?  Cold hard cash to have patience just a little bit longer.  Would that work? Apparently it does sometimes.

Of course we can't expect that there will be a hidden camera and an undercover actor to give us money for our understanding of the difficult situation we were forced to endure. So what will remind us to watch our reaction time?  How do we increase our patience?  You could watch grass grow, paint dry, or concrete set.  You can take up yoga or meditative breathing. You can learn new time management techniques to allow for the surprise of things going easy or maybe you have a stress reducing strategy of your own that you like to use, like counting back in your head from 10 every time you start to get angry, because believe me, the PBC doesn't like you when your angry.  It seems like a lot to ask to do all that work just so you won't yell the next time you return a pair of jeans that didn't quite fit.  But consider, why should the PBC get any less thought than any other person you interact with?  Is it because they are behind the counter? Would you be more inclined to be civil if they stood next to you? Would their use of the Inside Voice help you to remember you have one too?  What does it take to dig deep and pull out that extra bit of patience so your Shopping Situation doesn't leave everyone with a bitter taste in their mouth?

What is an "Inside Voice"? It's the volume of voice all parents and teachers ask for of any child who has yet to learn that the person next to them in any room can hear them just fine, and will continue to hear them just fine as long as they continue to use their Inside Voice.

What I ask of you:
When I go out I don't actively watch for Barista Bullies or Retail Ragers or Crazed Consumers.  I go out, but sometimes they are just there.  Presumably you do the same.  You get up and go out not anticipating an encounter.  But maybe you'll be on an errand and you'll see a customer or a PBC who has reached the end of their proverbial rope, or you were involved in a situation and you want to share your experience or you struck up a conversation with a friend/co-worker/PBC and they shared some stories.  However you come by it I encourage you to send me as many of the event details as you can, leaving out the identifying details (such as names of persons involved as well as the location of the business).  What was the problem? Where did you see it? (i.e. - coffee shop, grocery store, gas station, the mall etc.)  When did it happen?  How did it end?  Even if you were a spectator (because the PBC/customer looked like they had it under control, getting involved would have made the situation worse, the customer/PBC was a shining example of human decency and you were in awe of their poise and grace in the face of a slight deterrent to their shopping/dining experience etc.), send it in to: baristabullyblogger@gmail.com