Origins of the term "Barista Bully"

Have you ever waited to pay for your coffee while the customer at the register yells at the barista behind the counter?  What about at a big retail store while you waited your turn in the returns line?  Or maybe you were at a restaurant and you happen to overhear a dissatisfied diner?  At some point in your life you have probably been shopping and witnessed an uncomfortably loud exchange between a customer and a person behind the counter (PBC),  Perhaps you shook your head and felt bad for the PBC.  Perhaps you shook your head and agreed with the person yelling,  Perhaps you shook your head and walked away, determined not to get involved because it's certainly none of your business.

Unfortunately, that last point is a common occurrence.  Why is that?  Does it even matter what the person is yelling about?  Probably not.  What matters is the customer wants something: A refund on a purchase, an item that isn't in stock, for the store to accept a coupon, an upgrade, etc. and the PBC is unable or unwilling to provide that.  The customer isn't happy that they aren't getting what they want and the PBC doesn't have many options:

1) They can say no and risk the customer taking their business elsewhere.

2) They do what the customer wants (even if it is against their company's policies).

3) They can call in someone with more options to offer.

Many times the PBC is able to choose one of these options and life can go on.  But hold on, what if they choose Option #1 and instead of the customer walking away they start yelling?  They have raised their voice, startling the PBC and maybe other people around them.  They are drawing attention to themselves and the employee they are dealing with.  Depending on the situation this can be very intimidating, certainly so for employees who are new or not very high up in chain of command.  Yelling is an aggressive behavior and the PBC can't escape to a less stressful location.  They're trapped dealing with the unhappy customer.

Asking the person to lower their voice can have the opposite effect.  Yelling back at the customer is even worse.  The customer is putting pressure on the PBC to do what they want.  They may indicate that they are no longer willing to do business with that company and they will spread the word to others to do the same.  In this day and age, social media makes that a very easy to execute threat.  Make no mistake, that is a threat.  The PBC may try to offer alternative options, such as a free food item or a discount coupon or the number of a customer service hotline or even granting the original request.  The PBC is no longer able to stand behind their answer of "no". Was a supervisor able to step in and solve the problem?  What if that didn't make the customer happy or there was no supervisor available?  Did you intervene to diffuse the situation?  What if the customer turns on you next?

The PBC has been bullied into rewarding the yelling customer so they can get out of a stressful situation.  The customer feels justified that their behavior was appropriate and acceptable because no one stepped in and stopped it.  The PBC is left upset/scared/angry/alone/uncertain or all of the above.  It doesn't matter if the customer was big or small, male or female, young or old, what matters is the customer intentionally caused the PBC to experience fear to one degree or another.  Whether or not the customer was right, they have acted like a bully and by getting their way they may bully again.

What is a "Barista Bully"?  Someone who yells at the PBC about their coffee.  Just coffee, this time.